Amma, I wanna be a movie star :D
"Amma, ummm I think I wanna be a movie star". If I'd ever had mustered up every little ounce of courage within me to walk up to my mommy dearest and say those 10 words right on her face - it would have been nothing short of permanent banishment or a life time premium membership to a shrink or an episode of hardcore Bolly-Tolly-Molly-and-SandalWood melodrama(SandalWood is the kannada film industry those who never knew). I do not hail from a family that thinks Mohanlal is the neighborhood chaiwalla or that Amitabh Bachan's probably the Minster of State for Rural Welfare. We're the conventional Indian family, more like the desi Simpsons. We lapped up every Lal'ettan or Mithunda flick with glee, but filmdom is and will always be taboo to the conventional Indian Mother. A son bitten by the acting bug was looked upon with the same disgust as a son who just confessed that he swings the other way. Get it?
Yes, I was shamelessly in love with the histrionics of our SuperStars. It all began with this one VHS cassette that Appa brought home about two decades ago. He was pretty charged up about it. Appa's been a devotee of the Sean Connery Bond franchise. He called this the closest-thing to the Irish Bond. His name was Iyer, Sethuraman Iyer - bought to life by the evergreen Mammotty. The tape went in and Appa began the rituals of home-video viewing back in the 80's, which's only a faint memory today. Rewind,Stop,Play - and it all began(Ladies and Gentlemen - Defining moment in my life). Iyer was no Bond, he was Batman without a cape and the underwear inside(or maybe none at all). They spent a ton of green to build a Hadron Collider and unravel the mysteries of our beginnings - but what should they have really done? Hire Sethuraman Iyer - It's as SIMBLE as DHAAAAT. The credits started rolling and I was stumped. What A MAN(a la Abbas from Padayappa)??? The parents shooed me to bed or else I'd be late to Class 1-B the next day. I couldn't sleep; this is serious cos not a lot of things could keep a 6 year old awake all night. I had my future all written that night. I would grow up soon, sport a moustache, join the CBI and solve all the starlet murder mysteries in India.
Ha, that was short lived though because 3 months later I wanted to be Mohanlal. 2 years later when the Parents deemed it alright to let their son watch the hyper hip gyrations from up north I wanted to be Mithunda from Disco Dancer. Amitabh from Deewar. Every time I gazed into the mirror with narcissistic pride I found my the tip of my right eyebrow very Mohanlalish, Amitabish chin and in the 90's it was definitely a Shah Rukh nose. To sum it short I was obsessed with Indian celluloid Masala. I din't want to be an actor so I could have a legion of fans, or a shelf full of naked statuettes. I wanted to be Invincible. Defy Physics. Gaze at a plump female belly and break into a song. Kick the living self out of the fiancée of my on screen girlfriend. I wanted to be "that" guy from the movies.
As the puberty kicked in, the mirror in my bathroom seemed more real than ever because the Sanjay Dutt smile and Kamal Hassan eyes seemed to have vanished (second Defining moment of my life). I kept staring at the man in the mirror, he wasn't anything that faintly resembled those on screen poster boys. I was just an Appa X Amma genetic combination minus the good looks. My folks left most of that for what followed. I watched all my Bollywood dreams speed down the drain. A ray of hope teased me from the Tamil Industry but I saw that squashed with the arrival of Ajith, Abbas and the many more that followed.
Not a movie star???What next??? The next best export of the Indian assembly line - An Engineer. In retrospect I don't quite see myself a failure. I turned out to be the Engineer son from a middle class family. But the Indian filmi Masala fare that we're treated to is so addictive that it stays on forever. The mirror still plays a few dirty tricks with me. But it'd still be a thrill(a pricey one though) to see what Amma would say if I declared to her, "Amma, I wanna be a movie star".
Yes, I was shamelessly in love with the histrionics of our SuperStars. It all began with this one VHS cassette that Appa brought home about two decades ago. He was pretty charged up about it. Appa's been a devotee of the Sean Connery Bond franchise. He called this the closest-thing to the Irish Bond. His name was Iyer, Sethuraman Iyer - bought to life by the evergreen Mammotty. The tape went in and Appa began the rituals of home-video viewing back in the 80's, which's only a faint memory today. Rewind,Stop,Play - and it all began(Ladies and Gentlemen - Defining moment in my life). Iyer was no Bond, he was Batman without a cape and the underwear inside(or maybe none at all). They spent a ton of green to build a Hadron Collider and unravel the mysteries of our beginnings - but what should they have really done? Hire Sethuraman Iyer - It's as SIMBLE as DHAAAAT. The credits started rolling and I was stumped. What A MAN(a la Abbas from Padayappa)??? The parents shooed me to bed or else I'd be late to Class 1-B the next day. I couldn't sleep; this is serious cos not a lot of things could keep a 6 year old awake all night. I had my future all written that night. I would grow up soon, sport a moustache, join the CBI and solve all the starlet murder mysteries in India.
Ha, that was short lived though because 3 months later I wanted to be Mohanlal. 2 years later when the Parents deemed it alright to let their son watch the hyper hip gyrations from up north I wanted to be Mithunda from Disco Dancer. Amitabh from Deewar. Every time I gazed into the mirror with narcissistic pride I found my the tip of my right eyebrow very Mohanlalish, Amitabish chin and in the 90's it was definitely a Shah Rukh nose. To sum it short I was obsessed with Indian celluloid Masala. I din't want to be an actor so I could have a legion of fans, or a shelf full of naked statuettes. I wanted to be Invincible. Defy Physics. Gaze at a plump female belly and break into a song. Kick the living self out of the fiancée of my on screen girlfriend. I wanted to be "that" guy from the movies.
As the puberty kicked in, the mirror in my bathroom seemed more real than ever because the Sanjay Dutt smile and Kamal Hassan eyes seemed to have vanished (second Defining moment of my life). I kept staring at the man in the mirror, he wasn't anything that faintly resembled those on screen poster boys. I was just an Appa X Amma genetic combination minus the good looks. My folks left most of that for what followed. I watched all my Bollywood dreams speed down the drain. A ray of hope teased me from the Tamil Industry but I saw that squashed with the arrival of Ajith, Abbas and the many more that followed.
Not a movie star???What next??? The next best export of the Indian assembly line - An Engineer. In retrospect I don't quite see myself a failure. I turned out to be the Engineer son from a middle class family. But the Indian filmi Masala fare that we're treated to is so addictive that it stays on forever. The mirror still plays a few dirty tricks with me. But it'd still be a thrill(a pricey one though) to see what Amma would say if I declared to her, "Amma, I wanna be a movie star".
I don’t know how should I give you thanks! I am totally stunned by your article. You saved my time. Thanks a million for sharing this article.
ReplyDeleteAmazing blog and very interesting stuff you got here! I definitely learned a lot from reading through some of your earlier posts as well and decided to drop a comment on this one.
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