My Pot of Avial

I hail from a land that's long been associated for the toddy it produces, the amusing act of mass immigration and the ever increasing alcohol consumption ratio. I take pride in the fact that I have indulged in all 3 of them - and lavishly that too. The pale colored toddy isn't exactly what I'd like to down in a bar, but none the less when you're sitting on a boat surrounded by a canvas that's dotted with coconut palm trees - a glass of amber colored drink doesn't paint the right picture. Immigrating to any corner of the world is definitely something I can teach at some university. The Great Mallu* Dream is something that we mallus know best and we don't like franchising it. I'm a Gelf born and raised Mallu who ended up in the "States" to live the Great Mallu Dream as opposed to the what the Yanks think(NYU - Class of Cultural Adaptability....any takers???). An NRI Mallu will earn in Dollars, Riyals, Dinars, Dirhams or even Yen but they all end ...

For those of you who've survived to read my minuscule share of cyber "space" can spot the filmy undertones to most of the posts on here. It takes me a lot of mental resistance to keep it minimal but I'm for some reason one of those film smitten blokes. A conversation that involves me isn't really complete without a reference to a movie. I ain't one of those uber-cool guys who can pull off dialogues from a 1930's classic. I can't even remember the exact words that Rose told Jack when he was getting his one way ticket confirmed to the depths of the Atlantic. Despite the spectacularly low gray matter performance, I'd love to address myself as a movie buff. And I can put up a mighty tantrum if someone thinks otherwise. A couple of days ago I spent a good 10 bucks on a movie that fried the rest of what my cranial cavity held. Equipped with my pseudo film critic look I waited as the titles came on. They began explaining the modus operandi of how they got...

Till the dawn of the last century the world was known as White and Black, until the Yellow and the Brown worked overtime in their bedrooms(not particularly, Dining Rooms and Kitchen floors have become a debated favorite these days) to ensure that they held claim to a majority the coveted numbers. Today, the Chinese hold claim to 1.3 Billion living human beings on the planet and "WE" are closely on their heels with 1.1 Billion. Not bad I must say, considering the fact we have a tag that reads loud...."Morally Orthodox Republic" of India. Now, the Chinese have always been a bold and rather brash race without a great deal of Creativity. "WE" have been the race who loved to sit and glorify their heydays. Aryabhatta created the ZERO, Indus Valley was the Manhattan of the Bronze Age, The large rock on the Queen's crown...well, that belonged to us too. A rather pompous PAST has always been our PRESENT. What we were never called was Confident. There have been ...

"Amma, ummm I think I wanna be a movie star". If I'd ever had mustered up every little ounce of courage within me to walk up to my mommy dearest and say those 10 words right on her face - it would have been nothing short of permanent banishment or a life time premium membership to a shrink or an episode of hardcore Bolly-Tolly-Molly-and-SandalWood melodrama(SandalWood is the kannada film industry those who never knew). I do not hail from a family that thinks Mohanlal is the neighborhood chaiwalla or that Amitabh Bachan's probably the Minster of State for Rural Welfare. We're the conventional Indian family, more like the desi Simpsons. We lapped up every Lal'ettan or Mithunda flick with glee, but filmdom is and will always be taboo to the conventional Indian Mother. A son bitten by the acting bug was looked upon with the same disgust as a son who just confessed that he swings the other way. Get it? Yes, I was shamelessly in love with the histrionics of our Su...

Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring , rang the bell signalling the beginning of 40 days of “no- gyaan ”. The adults preferred to call it - Summer Vacations. Rakesh and Dino, my partners in juvenile crime and my best buds in Class 2B were going to be spending their vacation watching the mercury go up in the hottest time of the season in Kuwait, but I was headed to tropical nirvana. Not to the land of the Salsa but to the kingdom of Toddy - Kerala , the land of my forefathers. A good section of the contributors to my gene pool still lived there, headed by the patriarch of the family, my grandpa - Appachan . “ Lijuuuuuuuuuu , leave that car in your room or you’re not getting on the flight” was Amma ’s prompt reply albeit the flared nostrils when I asked her if my “domestic” partner could hop on the flight with us. It was heart-wrenching. Tell her to leave Appa behind for this trip and she’d know how I felt. We shared an emotional moment nevertheless and I reported to the living room for final roll...

The title of this post might suggest a lot of things, but this wasn’t quipped by your truly. It’s a Picasso quote. I have my own version of it though. “Bad Artists Copy, Good Ones Steal and the Creatives Ones pave the way for the Bad and the Good ones“. It isn’t the most moral thought but isn’t this what the world is made up of??? What got me to ramble about it on here was the recent Chetan - 3 Idiots standoff. What surprised me about the incident was its uncanny resemblance to the kitty fights between my old nieghbors Usha aunty and Valsa aunty. Let me explain - Usha aunty was godsend to our culinary cravings and also the only reason why Uncle Boban, her husband had the roundest most largest potbelly in the world. She made the best Fish Moilee in the world; one so good that I would shamelessly lick off the last drop of it from my plate. She was the nicest lady in the world ( I hope amma isn’t reading this). Ok, lets settle for the second most nicest lady in the world. Introducing ...

The first time I laid my eyes on a Steve Jobs creation for real, was when I was too poor to afford one. 85k rupees for the device of my choice was plain financial suicide. I simply could not afford it. Thanks to a confirmed seat on a Hartford bound KLM flight and an assignment with a US biggie, I now own a harem of Applicious hotties. What you don’t realise when you’re embraced into the Steve Jobs khaandan is that you slowly develop a liking (in the most heterosexual way) for this chap who looks like he was born in those clothes. I was a light year away when the first gen IPhone was launched, but ever since then I always followed those purple lighted events which sent geeks all over the universe into an orgasmic frenzy. Yesterday, I waited for their supposedly “iSlate” announcement like my non-existent spouse was in the delivery room. Boom, and it shalt be called the iPad. An iPhone on steroids???? You must be kidding me. A ton of reports over news channels shared my emotions too. On...